The Butterfly Effect


Every day, while I drink my morning coffee I surf the Internet. This morning in particular, I found a blog called The Bastet Goddess’ Hut. I could read love, sadness, happiness, broken hearts and deep loneliness in most of their words. As I was reading I was remembering myself twenty years ago in a purple room, surrounded by The Beatles posters and music, sitting on my desk writing about similar situations and feelings. When I finished my coffee, I went upstairs and looked for the old box I brought from Colombia last year. I found a couple of pictures and letters, some books written by my favorite authors, and finally, at the bottom, I found the treasure I was looking for. It was a small brown notebook with the picture of John, George, Paul and Ringo on the cover. I sat on the floor with a bittersweet smile in my face, and I started reading it. Half way, I found a poem dedicated to my dad with the title July 24th about the celebration of his birthday and the strong need of his presence in my life back in 1995. Then, I realized today is July 24th, and I am looking at the same words I was writing seventeen years ago; but I can tell, the feeling today is completely different.

Is marvellous how life happens, how life changes and how we learn! But especially during those years when life is a little bit heavier, we always end up wondering, what if…

I continued with my reading and this question appeared almost everywhere. I could see me many years ago crying on top of this notebook asking why this happened to me? What if they were alive? And feeling so frustrated because I could not find any answers. I feel sad for those days but I’m glad that today I see it different; without that initial point that marks the life of our entire family, I could not be the person I am now.

I brought back the notebook to the old box where it belongs. I will keep it along with some other treasures that you will get when the right time comes. Meanwhile I will enjoy this flashback to my life. I think, Emily and Sammy, is time for you to start hearing stories about a man named David, who was born on July 24th, 1949 and died on October 7th, 1979. He was my dad, he is your grandpa, and he will live in our hearts, forever.

Si lo conocieron y quisieran compartir sus historias con Emily y Alejandro los invito a dejar sus comentarios… gracias por su visita!

About SofiaPrada

http://about.me/sofiaprada

Posted on July 24, 2012, in In My Life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. El detalle de tus escritos es único…expresando cada sentimiento, cada cuestionamiento que te haces frente a la vida y transmitiendo a tus peques todo eso que llevas por dentro y que te define, siempre de una manera tan cálida!

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  2. Leer esas nostálgicas palabras y no remover fibras es inevitable. El fino detalle con que describes cada sentimiento es majestuoso. Lindo poema, Sofi, a very touching words; cada palabra que rima en cada línea junto al sentimiento descorazonador de una lamentable pérdida. Admiro mucho tu dedicación en enseñarle a tus niños como ha sido el trayecto de tu vida, y más, si es contado de manera tan bonita!

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  3. Me puse llorona de solo ver el cuaderno, ese cuaderno de hace añosssss!!! y eso que no leí el mensaje en ingles…

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