This morning, while I was feeding Alejandro, Emily came to me with her coloring book and some markers. She did not want to color by herself. She needed to do it with mama. As soon as I told her that I could not help her she sadly turned her back to me and walked away saying: “I wish I have my own mama”.
In the beginning, I thought her words sounded very cute, but then I started to think about it. When I was pregnant, I talked to Emily about all the benefits of having a little brother; I told her that a wonderful little baby was coming to fill her life with joy and possibilities to play and laugh and thus, she would not have to play alone never again. She was very excited with these ideas but now I notice that, maybe, she is starting to think that is not completely true. I try to be in her shoes and I can imagine her thinking: – Alejandro cries very loud and demands my mommy attention all the time. He is carried in the stroller that used to be mine and he is also picked up in arms every time he wants. He is even using my baby clothes and toys –.
Now that I put it on words, I see it big, and I realize what she is going through. She is only 4 years old but she is already learning how to deal with changes in life, and she is doing a great job. Neither she nor I have anything to worry about. We should always remember that a mommy’s heart is as big as her kids. Enough space will always be available for all, even if the number of kids increases to 15.
I promise you will always have your own mama 🙂